To gain something would always mean you will lose something in return? I have been thinking of this question for long. Is this a way that Mother Nature adopt to balance everything on earth? And I guess this is true since nobody can have the best of two worlds..
Ever since starting out with TS, things aren't the same between me and Qi anymore. Perhaps that is the starting point when we start drifting. Problems came in when she felt left out when 3 of us are out, followed by meeting her alot lesser, and came she being the middleman. Till recently I found out she was unhappy when I left her to worry about things between me and TS at that time. I can't blame her for the result of today.. Its my inability to handle things well that caused all these. My insensitivity to detect her unhappiness that allowed things to continue.. It was the worst feeling to know this and perhaps nobody can really understand me. many people would think why am I so silly to brood over a small thing when I still have other friends? Perhaps nobody understands how close we were, the bond that we share between us. It was close like sisters till things changed. I am trying and still trying to make things better.. To make up for things I did not handle well enough.. I don't know how much can things improve.. Maybe we will not get to that stage that we used to be, but at least I tell myself I am not going to let things worsen.
To Qi: Sorry for everything that you felt the last time. All of it was due to me not able to balance things well and handle things well. If there is still any feelings of you being sandwiched now, it will be the last. No more of this from now on. Though I would very much hope to hang out with you and Angeline, I find that I could not blend it yet. I feel that most of the times I could not join in conversation between both of you coz I don't know what's going on. Yet, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely want to befriend her. The best scenerio would probably be 3 of us hanging out together, i guess.. No matter what, I will still be there whenever you need someone to talk to..
